The Secret of Change.

Here’s the thing about change. It’s terrifying. I’ve never liked the feeling of uncertainty and instability, and I especially hate feeling like I’m flailing around, trying desperately to find anything to hold on to.

I remember my very first breakup (if that’s even what you should call it at such a young age). A phone call from my 6th grade boyfriend, just hours before we were supposed to meet up with another couple to go roller skating. I couldn’t tell you what he said, but I remember how it felt to have this teenage boy that I knew would listen to the stories about my day dump me unexpectedly. I was 12, and it sucked.

I also remember what it was like when each of my great-grandparents passed away. I specifically remember being curled up in a ball on the kitchen floor of my dad’s home after he told me about Memaw. I didn’t understand how it could possibly be true — she was just walking to go get the mail. This was the first death I ever had to deal with. I was 16, and it sucked.

Now, here I am: 24, and change still sucks. No matter how comfortable I am in my life, nothing is guaranteed. In fact, someone pretty wise once said, “The only thing that is constant is change.” So, I’m choosing to handle this change differently. I’m not flailing, I’m standing on my own two feet. I’m not unstable, I’m relying on myself. And while a lot of things still are uncertain, what I do know is that I have an incredibly strong support system to lean on when the suck levels get a little too high, and that life is sweet, changes and all.

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